wyicked (wyicked) wrote in gallaudet,
wyicked
wyicked
gallaudet

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PAH!

I have a proclamation to make: I believe President Al Simone isn't hearing enough. Yes, you heard me. He is a racial son-of-a-bitch who never promotes bigotry in the deaf world. RIT could do without a man who has full support of the minorities here - we need someone who can stir up anger! angst! and most of all, deafism!!! That's right, you heard me; a man who respects our culture deserves to be overthrown - now, who is with me?!

I am planning to hold a unified protest in the LBJ building (RIT's version of your HMB bldg), and we shall erect scores upon scores of pretty colorful tents! Everyone will be able to walk on the second floor and marvel at our pretty tents as they try to reach their classrooms...but can't! Their gaze will be directed to the countless (3 or 4 for now) students playing poker and Halo on the classroom TVs they stole out of their VERY OWN HOMEROOM! (Once I learn what a homeroom is, I shall inform you fellow friends).

Imagine it, in all of it's glorified pretense, a hall... yes, a HALL with the very same handwritings from all of your fellow classmates making a mockery of President Simone! The sheer torture of bad grammar and atrocious spelling ought to be enough to overthrow the dictator himself! And the kicker? Once the President abides by our civil demands, we shall hence remove all garbage cans in the facility so that no one will be able to throw away the posters - creating total chaos!

As for the contract? An ultimatum. Yes, a lengthy paper in which President Simone will moan and twitch involuntarily as he removes the sweat from his brow (bad grammar will do that to a sane man) and forcibly read the ultimatum. He offers no remorse as he gleefully endorses a legally binding contract, thus forcing him to wear cochlear implants! OMGWTF are you serious?! Yes, we shall make our damn deaf dumb-ass President wear cochlear implants because we believe he needs to be the shining role model in our minuscule lives - never mind that Presidents have little to nil solemn duties to preform. The public must be taught!

Items included on the Ultimatum:
1) President Simone will, undoubtedly, receive a cochlear implant. No discussion.
2) All incoming students will be required to take grammar classes and hence, we may finally be able to count the number of grammar proficient students on our hands.
3) Unrestricted access to all the emails between our janitors and campus safety. We want to know what sort of rumors they are spreading.
4) All interpreters will be required to wear XXL tie-dye shirts and large Jamaican hats with long dreads.
5) The pretty tents must remain, because they are pretty.
6) We need someone impartial to ensure that President Simone becomes more hearing; preferably someone like Chuck Norris must be present to kick-ass if necessary.
7) All students will henceforth be required to take Matrix Calculus in Thermodynamics of Aerospace Engineering courses.

These, and all stated requirements, will be signed by President Simone (if not, then we shall induce a comatose-like stage and have a quirky legal secretary witness his signature). Our voices shall be heard!
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